Opaque Depiction
by Dawn of Chaos
Summary: Broken and bleeding, shattered and torn...the perfect description of my heart and the state I made him leave it in. But...he's my first and only love, I can't let go and I can only hope he comes back.


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Opaque Depiction

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A glass sculpture shoved to the ground. Pieces scattering to the edges of the room, the echo of the crash resounding off the stone walls, unheard. The cold shards reflect a dim light as echoing footfalls slowly pace forward, crushing them effortlessly. Those footfalls vanish just as quickly as they had come, leaving the room barren save for the shattered glass.

_Sounds just like my heart...and what he did to it._

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_~~Once in a while, you are in my mind. I think about the days that we had and I dream that these would all come back to me. If only you knew every moment in time. Nothing goes on in my heart, just like our memories. How I want here to be with you...once more.~~_

That night I finally admitted to Sora my love for him...it couldn't have been a more stress reliever, a weight off of my shoulders. All those days I spent worrying about if I was letting my feelings through are gone now. He blew off his date with Kairi and took me back to my place, where he has been with me since that night. Ironically enough, these past three days with him have been wonderful...despite the severe cold keeping me glued to the bed.

A bright smile lifts at the corners of his mouth, his fingers wringing out the water from the cloth before he places it back over my forehead. With lidded eyes, I watch as he pulls away from me, reaching into his pocket as his phone emits a soft tune, the volume having been turned down. A frown forces his brow to crease, a scowl on his countenance.

"I'll be right back Riku. Don't move, okay?" Barely able to manage a nod, Sora walks out, not quite looking to see if I had.

I can hear him stride down the stairs to the first floor, voice slightly raised with anger. I try to sit up, hoping to balance my weight on my elbows, but they shake and give out, sliding back down. Groaning softly in frustration, I give a few pants, energy already trying to grow back after the pathetic attempt to move. I continue to glare up at the ceiling, small breaths lifting my chest up and down, the fire from the fever raging through my body like a flame through a leaf. Briefly closing my eyes, I let a tiny smile stand out against my pale skin.

Sora and I were always together when we were younger; exploring, sparing, laughing, relaxing...having fun. All those days seem so far away now, as far away as the moon. Yet something seems off and I just can't pinpoint it.

_~~You will always be the one and you should know, how I wish I could have never let you go. Come into my life again. Oh, don't say no. You will always be the one in my life. So true, I believe I can never find somebody like you, my first love.~~_

The front door slams, the sound reaching my ears quickly.

_H-he couldn't have left. N-no he couldn't have._

The fear of his leaving, just as I had left him all those years ago during our battles with destiny, propels me forehead, adrenaline pulsing through my veins. I shove the heavy blankets away and the damp cloth drops to the ground, my feet shakily meeting the ground. I push off hard from the welcoming mattress, ambling to the door as I latch onto sturdy surfaces for balance.

The plus ebony carpet of my room is left behind as my soles touch down onto the mahogany-red floor, that spreads through the hall and down the steps. But I don't make it that far. My feet slip out from under me and my grip loosens on the railing, falling down between the elegant wooden bars, dangling over the side as my head crashes against one of them. A large 'oof' breaks past my lips, a groan swiftly following as a migraine stirs up again, my head beginning to pound instantaneously.

Down below, Sora has Kairi pressed up against the door, their lips locked together. His arms are wrapped around her, fingers gripping her waist, while hers are looped around his neck, keeping their bodies close. At the sight of the two, obviously meant for each other by the way their bodies mold together, I feel the back of my throat burn. Nausea overcomes me as vomit tries to thrust its way out. I swallow that back down though, sparing a hand to drag my fingers up through silver bangs, pushing them out of my eyes as I struggle to push myself away from the banister.

I'd say I don't want to be seen, but by the way Sora breaks away from Kairi and his eyes lock onto the second floor, I know he's seen me, especially thanks to my arm still dangling over the side. Trying to get leverage against the ground, I push myself into a crawling position, my ears throbbing with the sound of my own heart beating so loud and hearing Sora yell at me as he bounds up the steps. "Riku, hold on! You're not supposed to be up just yet!"

Sora skids around the corner, ocean eyes full of worry. He drops down into a crouch, hands reaching to help me up and take me back to my room. I spare a hand shoving his own away, only succeeding in making the side of my face crash down against my other arm, my own weight too much for me. "N-No go away! I don't e-ever want to see you again! L-Leave me alone S-Sora, get out of m-my house or I'll c-call the p-police." I can feel his wide eyes boring into the back of my head, but he can't see the tears streaming down my cheeks.

_I'm always the strong one, I'm supposed to be, but I'm just so weak inside...and he knows it. So why does he do this? Trick me. Make me believe...then break my heart._

"Riku..."

"Just go Sora." My words come out in a choke, barely able to get them past the lump in my throat. I swallow hard, biting back a sob as I hear his footsteps. A hand gently touches down onto my back and I instinctively shrink away from the touch, feeling like a beaten animal about to be shoved into its cage. "D-Didn't you _hear_ me? I said, get _away_ from me!"

Footfalls retreat, thumping down the rug covered stairs followed by a harsh mumble and the door slamming. I keep my face to the soft fabric covering my arms, despair ripping through me like a scream would if my throat weren't as hoarse as it is. Giving up, I let my body flatten out on the cool, wooden floor, the temperature nice against my clammy skin.

_~~You will always be inside of my heart and you should know, how I wish I could have never let you go. Come into my life again. Please don't say no. Now and forever, you are still the one in my heart. So true, I believe I could never find somebody like you. My first love.~~_

After I was sure that Sora had left, I managed to get downstairs and lock the door before giving up and passing out on the couch. With my energy drained, I had laid there the rest of the day, unmotivated to do anything besides drift in and out of sleep. Tears usually spilled from my eyes when awake, for a dream of happier days was most often the cause. My phone rang now and again, but I had succeeded in trying the volume down on both the phone and the answering machine, not wanting to listen to any of it.

As I woke up the next morning, feeling slightly better than the day before, I felt stupid. Childish even, for acting the way I did. As much as I tried to put the blame on Sora, it always found its way back to me. Not that it mattered, I had been blaming myself for things for a long time, this would be no different. Each day that passed, the fever barreled down on me, my moods and thoughts indescribable and undefined. I felt like my body was slowly giving up, following the vacant orders fro m my mind.

_I can't always run after him._

Memory began to have no meaning, the days clinging together and becoming one big haze of nothingness. Maybe that's what it felt like to be a Nobody. At least they had purpose though. I weakly push the thin sheets away from my boiling skin, the heat refusing to subside as a headache begins pulsating behind my eyes.

_I should have gone to a doctor. _

I lick at my lips, trying desperately to wet them and keep them moist as I slowly move my legs over the edge of the bed. My breathing is strained and pant-like by the time I'm to the door. A light sheen of sweat coats my body beneath the gray t-shirt and sweatpants. Groaning, I push my fingers up through my bangs, trying to get them off my skin, with no avail.

Sharp bangs resound through the house like a church bell at noon, forcing me to cover my ears, the noise too much for my fragile mind. "G-Go away!" I yell down to the door, not wanting to admit that I'm in so much pain I can't _get_ to the door. A muffled voice tries to reach me, but it doesn't matter. I drop to the floor, a sharp yell splitting from my lips as the side of my head cracks against the door frame.

_I'm not special. I'm no good for him. I tried to drag him into the darkness. I let darkness take me over...and let him die and take form of a Heartless. I didn't go to him the second he awoke. I sulked in the shadows, not wanting him to see what I had become while helping him recover. But still...I love him._

Tilting my head back against the door, I sit there, chest rising and falling heavily as the sound of a door slamming against the wall reaches my, now, uncovered ears. Thundering stomps rush up the stairs, only stopping as knees skid to a stop at my side, arms wrapping around me and lifting me into a welcoming lap.

"Riku, you're such an idiot sometimes. I love you and _only_ you. I won't leave you ever again."

I look up into his bright, blue eyes, unable to believe that he's here. "Took you long enough." I choke out, resting the side of my head against his shoulder. "Why'd you come back...you were with Kairi weren't you?"

"She was jealous...because I love you so much, always have. Why do you think I got so frustrated when we were little, about how you wanted 'the winner' of our game to share a papou with her. I wanted to share it with you though."

"D-...Don't leave again...Even if I tell you to."

"I won't Riku. Never, ever again." Sora presses his lips against my forehead, the cool, smooth texture feeling nice against my skin. "Now lets get you back up in bed, I shouldn't have left you when you were sick."

"You forgot where you put the key to my house didn't you Sora." I state as he picks me up in his arms, carrying me back to my bed.

A soft chuckle rumbles through his chest, the sound like honey to my ears. "Yeah, I did. But, I wouldn't loose it if I stayed here with you...permanently...since you're parents are gone."

Shakily wrapping my arms around his neck, I pull myself up, lightly pressing my lips against his. "Y-Yeah...that sounds g-good."

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Blood dripping down from slim fingers as a piece of glass slips back down to the floor, breaking in two. A muttered curse and a sigh leads to those fingers trying again, fitting the two pieces back together. Piece after piece, the sculpture is reconstructed, back into the shape it was supposed to have, despite the cracks and crevices now littering the once smooth surface.

_Except...he came back and gingerly picked up the pieces. With the love in his heart, he began putting my own heart back together again...piece by piece._

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_**As assistance was the song "First Love" by Utada Hikaru  
>This is a sequel to a drabble done a while ago, the title of that is <span>Can't Describe<span>**_

_For Grimm, a.k.a. LovefromSlytherin-AMLF, because she wanted it so long ago and I couldn't help but do it. She's amazing, breathtaking, creative, and all around lovely~ I hope you like it._


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